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What is swinging?


Swinging definition, rules and conduct


 

 What is swinging?
Swinging is recreational social sex. Swinging is also known as "The Lifestyle." It is primarily a couple (male/female) activity, but occasionally can include single women or men. Female bisexuality is common and generally accepted in the lifestyle, but male bisexuality is more rare.

Actual Definitions:
Websters
"swinger" - "One who engages freely in sex"
American Heritage
"swinger" - "A persion who engages freely and uninhibitedly in sexual activity"
"swinging" - "The practice of swapping sexual partners"

Setting up rules

Many couples set up rules for themselves so that each partner understands what is and is not acceptable. This is an excellent idea, especially for beginning couples to safeguard against hurting someone's feelings. Rules can be anything from no oral, to no pain. Whatever each partner is comfortable (or uncomfortable) with. Rules should be explained to any couple that you plan to be with, they need to know what is expected. Don't be afraid to change your rules as you experience the lifestyle more and more. Most couples start out with a few rules, and then they change and change again.

Rules and Etiquette

The #1 Rule of swinging

"No means No" If you can't respect other people's wishes, or you can't voice your own, then swinging is NOT for you! No is not an insult. No may be because of a mood, a rule, or it might mean the other person (couple) is not ready. It may also mean, "No, thank you, but I'm not interested." That is every swingers prerogative. It may or may not be personal. We are all adults, deal with it!

Conversation

Not all parties are going to lead straight to bed. Most people prefer to get to know each other a little. Remember, attraction isn't totally physical (Hey, stop looking down my shirt!) Remember to converse with both partners. Don't get too preoccupied with the opposite sexes' pants! If one partner doesn't feel comfortable with you, you probably won't be going home with either of them!

Communication

Learn to communicate openly. Express what your wants and concerns are to other couples. It will make the experience better for both. Introductions: As silly as it may seem, don't forget to introduce people. Even if you've just met two couples, introduce them. You will seem friendly and polite, and everyone will be less confused! ;)

Hands

Watch those hands. Don't be handsy. Don't grab other people, their breasts, their butts, don't pull up their skirts. Before you have had sex it's rude and after you have had sex its still rude! Being handsy makes people uncomfortable and, even worse, it make people not like you.

Pushy

Don't be pushy. Let couples proceed at their own rate. If you are interested in someone simply tell them so. Ask them if they would like to get together. But don't ask them every 5 minutes. Don't call them everyday and ask to get together. This may seem an extreme example, but hopefully you get the point. It may not happen right away, but being pushy won't make it happen any faster or better!

Choices - Types of swinging

Soft swinging

Foreplay with other partners, sometimes including oral sex but no vaginal penetration. Can add spice to a couple's relationship and allow them to have fun without the risk of disease or jealousy. Many couples start out as soft swingers as they first explore swinging. But don't think that soft swingers will always convert to full swapping.

Closed swinging

Partners swap, but have sex in separate rooms. Closed swinging allows for a more intimate experience. Some people feel it allows them more freedom to explore and fewer interruptions of their enjoyment.

Open swinging

Partners swap and have sex in the same room, or bed. This includes orgies and is great for exhibitionists and voyeurs, who can show off or just enjoy watching their partner play. Some people find open swinging allows for total release of the sexual desires and fantasies. It is not for the jealous or the shy! ;)

The Allure of swinging

Many couples are sexually aroused at thought of having sex with multiple partners. They explore this interest, and find swinging to be the impetus to improve their relationship, both sexually and emotionally. Swinging can open up many aspects of relationships, both as friendships and romantic relationships. It is refreshing to develop open relationship with people who have similar interests and attitudes.

Other couples and singles just feel that sex is a natural and enjoyable part of being human. Sex, then, is a natural part of friendship between these open-minded adults. These are people who are really can say, "Let's just be friends" and "Friends can have sex", in the same breath.

Swinging brings a lot of communication and openness to a relationship. Many couples find they are closer after they begin swinging. There is no need to keep feelings or desires to oneself. Every aspect of your feelings and preferences can be shared with your partner. They find that not only does their sexual knowledge of each other expand, but their emotional knowledge and communication ability as well. Many couple feel that sharing these intimate acts, fantasies and turn-ons with your mate is a tremendous stimulant.

Lifemate vs. Playmate

One of the first couples we were with had been in the swinging lifestyle for many years. They gave us much needed advice and guidance. They talked to us about lifemate and playmates. It's something that has stuck with us.
There is one thing you should never forget as you enter this lifestyle and grow with your partner. Your spouse is your lifemate, your new friends are playmates. You have decided to build and spend your life with your spouse. Your playmates are for you to enjoy and play with. You should never try to get between your playmates, and you should never ever let your playmates get between you and your lifemate. Regarding your newfound friends as playmates, highlights the fun recreational activity that swinging is.

10 Commandments of Swinging

Thanks to Honey Rivers www.honeyrivers.org/main.htm

  1. Never attempt to break up a marriage.
  2. Always keep dates unless you give ample notice of changing circumstances.
  3. Always keep the first meeting on a "no strings attached" basis, but be prepared to swing if it is mutually agreeable or to give an honest answer if something doesn't click.
  4. Never, under any circumstances exert pressure on a partner to swing.
  5. Restrict discussions of swinging to known swingers and interested persons seeking information.
  6. Protect the anonymity of other swingers by refraining from unauthorized "name dropping".
  7. Always maintain the highest standards of personal cleanliness and appearance.
  8. Do not engage in any unlawful activity that would discredit swingers as a group.
  9. Be friendly and warm with your swing partners, but understand that there is a type of emotional involvement, which is properly reserved for a spouse or "primary significant other."
  10. Always show respect for the personal attitudes, feelings and "hang-ups" of other swingers.

Terms and Acronyms

AC-DC - An individual who is bi-sexual
B & D - Bondage and Discipline
BDSM - Bondage, discipline, sadomasochism
Back Door - Slang for anal sex
Bondage - Sexually aroused by being restrained or the subject of corrective treatment. (B&D)
Discipline - Disciplinary actions, which arouse sexual desires, ranging from mild spankings to painful beatings. (B&D)
DP - Double Penetration
Exhibitionism - Sexual need to show the private parts of the body to others.
Fetish - Sexual arousal through the use of objects or devotion to parts of the body, such as feet, fingers, leather, etc.
French - Oral sex. The 69 position
Greek - Anal intercourse
Hedonist - One who lives only for pleasure
Off premise - These are events in which sexual activity is not allowed in the party or dance. If members of the party wish to get together then they leave the party and go to a hotel room, home, or where ever
On Premise - These events are usually house parties or private clubs. You are allowed to have sex in designated areas, such as bedrooms. There are usually safe rooms where sex is not allowed
Parties - Group swinging with more than one couple. Not to be confused with orgies. Private rooms may be used, but all are under one roof
Roman - Orgies. Unrestrained multiple sexual activities in one room
Safe - Male with vasectomy or female with hysterectomy or tubal ligation. (Unable to become pregnant or to impregnate)
Social - An organized get-acquainted area of neutral ground, such as a restaurant, or dance. Sometimes followed by a party
Swapping - The exchanging of mates by two couples
Swinger - One, as part of a couple, who engages in recreational sex
Swinging - Where two or more couples agree to get together for the express purpose of engaging in intimate, sexual relations with a partner or partners other than their own
Voyeurism - Observing others engaged in sexual activities, in the act of undressing, or sexual exhibitions. The view of an Exhibitionist
Water Sports - urination for sexual stimulation

Did we miss something? Email us and we'll add it.


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